Discover My Friend
by xHarryIsMyHomeboyx
Summary: Ron thinks he knows Harry, but learns differently when he visits the Dursleys.
1. Chapter 1

Dumbledore was speaking, and I forced myself to listen. I had begged my mother to let me in on the meetings, and my wish was finally granted. I didn't expect to come out of it despising my headmaster, however. What he was saying…was so disturbing. I could only think about how Harry had to know, but Dumbledore was keeping him in the dark. Harry wasn't there with us. He was the one who should have been allowed in the meeting, not Hermione and me. Harry had to know. How could Dumbledore even _consider _keeping this from him? Seeming to read my mind, Hermione spoke up.

"Professor, what about Harry?"

"What about him, Miss Granger?"

"Shouldn't he know this?"

Dumbledore paused a moment before replying. "Ah," he said, and I wanted to kill him. Whenever he says that, it annoys me to no end. It means that there is a long explanation of some sort succeeding, and the information would not be comprehended quickly. "Yes, you are correct." Well, that was blunt. He usually skirts around the point long before making it.

"Good," I said, wanting to speed things up. "I'll owl him later."

There was a rustling at this, and Dumbledore was quick to counter me. "I'm afraid that is not a possibility, Mr. Weasley. To put this information in a letter is asking for trouble."

"Than how do you suggest he find out?" I turned to Hermione. She sounded so far from her usual I-will-act-polite-because-you're-a-teacher attitude. Instead, she was brisk and annoyed.

"He needs to be informed in person. He'll know when he returns."

"Which will be when? You know he hates it there!" Now she sounded accusatory! I didn't know where this personality came from, but I had to admit, I liked it.

"Just two more weeks. Believe me, I do not get any enjoyment out of sending him away for summers; it is for his safety."

"We'll tell him," I put in. "We'll go to his house and tell him. He _has_ to know." Dumbledore looked surprised, and actually considered my suggestion. It seemed to take years, but he finally said, "Perhaps. See me later."

+--+--+

Most people left after the meeting, but others lingered for dinner. Dumbledore pulled Hermione and me aside.

"If you can swear to me that you'll accomplish this without being seen by anyone but Harry, I will provide you with an invisibility cloak, and you may see him."

Well, that was a surprising answer.

"Why can't we be seen?" Hermione questioned, skeptical.

"If Death Eaters notice you entering the building, they will know that Harry is there. There are wards, but I would prefer for him to able to exist the house at times. You must also hide yourselves from his relatives. They are not keen on magic, and are likely to kick you out of the house before you get a word in."

Challenge accepted.

+--+--+

"Merlin, Hermione, what time is it?" We were nearing Harry's residence, and I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone see where I was going cramped under the cloak with Hermione.

"It's seven, Ron. It's not that early."

"Couldn't we have left later? This isn't _normal_, to be up so early. It's _inhuman._"

"Shut up," but she smiled at me. "I wanted to leave the whole day, in case it's hard to get him alone. Remember, they can't even see us talking to him." I grudgingly agreed, and trudged up to the front door. "How do we get in?" Hermione wondered, looking slightly panicked.

"Can't we just open it?"

"Most people have alarms. They'll hear us enter. And besides, I doubt they left it unlocked." We stood there on the doorstep for a while, not sure how to proceed. And then, "Move over, someone's coming!"

The door opened, and Harry's and put some bottles or something outside. Taking advantage of the situation, we snuck inside, holding our breath. His aunt, Petunia I remembered her name was, then walked up the stairs. Hermione and I shared a glance, and followed. She banged on a door and said, relatively loudly, "Get up," and she left.

"That's Harry's room," I informed Hermione, remembering it from second year.

"Why is there a cat flap on the door?"

I shrugged, unsure myself. We waited a moment, and then Harry emerged. He looked pale and skinny, like he always did at the end of summer, and he was wearing those disgusting hand-me-downs they gave him. We almost said something to him then, but he was shuffling down the stairs before we could.

In the kitchen, Petunia was sitting at the table, staring at the television on the wall. It was some cooking channel. Harry was pulling out pans and cooking breakfast. _Harry can cook?_ I looked at Hermione, and saw that her eyebrows were raised. She was surprised, too.

He was making eggs and bacon while his aunt watched people cook on a screen. I desperately wanted to say something to him then, but Petunia's presence made it impossible. Eventually, Harry's uncle entered the kitchen, looking very self-important. He sat down on the table next to his wife, and Harry immediately served them both breakfast. He then returned to the sink to wash the materials. Petunia and Vernon discussed something I didn't care about, while Hermione and I had our eyes fixed on Harry. When his lard of a cousin joined the scene, Harry served him as well. His family paid him no notice as he did so, and he turned to clean off the other's plates. The family talked and laughed, as he cleaned in silence.

When he'd cleaned and put away Dudley's plate, his aunt sent him outside to work in the garden. We watched him through the window, since we weren't able to get out with him. He hadn't eaten yet. It was a considerably long time of various Harry-excluded activities before his uncle called him in.

"Doesn't he have somewhere to be?" I asked Hermione under my breath, indicating the fat man.

"It's a Saturday, Ron. Most people don't work today."

"Get in here, boy," Vernon demanded. I found myself upset at the obnoxious tone he used. "We're going out. You're to stay in your room. Go, I don't want to see you." As Harry turned to leave, I noticed how he rolled his eyes. Dudley stopped him.

"You're not eating again today, you know that?" He was taunting him, shoving potato chips down his overgrown throat.

"I surmised as much," Harry replied, continuing on his way.

"How long has it been now? I know you've been stealing water from the tap."

"Whatever."

"I'll tell Dad."

"Wow. You're five," Harry said, indicating his cousin's immaturity.

'Fuck you."

"Yeah, fuck you, too," he said casually. Dudley smirked.

"Dad! Harry's cursing at me!"

I watched my friend stop in his tracks, his eyes widened. His uncle's booming voice echoed from the kitchen. "BOY! GET YOUR SORRY ARSE IN HERE!" Harry glared at Dudley before complying.

Hermione and I followed him, still hidden under the cloak, and watched Vernon grab him by the hair. He pulled his head up, and spoke an inch from his face. Spit was falling onto Harry.

"Who do you think you are, you piece of shit?" Vernon shook him, and continued ranting. "How dare you speak rudely to my son!" He threw his nephew away from him, and Harry stumbled to find his balance. Vernon then slapped him across his face. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Harry turned, glaring at his uncle. "You are a useless bastard. We took you in, out of pure kindness, and you've been nothing but a burden all these years!" Another smack in the head. I wanted to run out, reveal my identity and protect him, but I knew I couldn't. "You will respect your betters, boy! Get up to your room, and that's another week without meals!" He threw him toward the doorway, and Harry hastily made his way up the stairs, ignoring his grinning cousin. We followed him, and snuck into the room as the door opened. He collapsed on his bed.

We could have said something then, but we were both in too much shock to do so. Behind us, we heard locks close on the door, trapping us in. Harry lay on his stomach. It was a moment before he spoke.

"Who's in here?"

I was so taken aback at that. How did he know? I did the only thing I knew in situations such as these: I looked at Hermione for the answer.

"Harry," she said quietly.

"Shit," Harry muttered, turning around. "Hermione, what are you doing here?"

She pulled the cloak off us, and we approached him. Hermione flung her arms around him before responding. "We have to tell you something," she said, "but we had to tell you in person. How are you?"

"Terrific," he said, sarcasm dripping from each syllable. Hermione looked abashed. "What do you have to tell me? Can I leave?"

"Not for another two weeks, according to Dumbledore. I wish you could. Your relatives are awful."

"How long were you here for?"

Hermione stumbled over her words. "A while."

Harry was clearly upset, but he let it go. "What do you need to tell me? Because you need to be out of here before they get back."

Hermione turned to me, and it was obvious she was done speaking. It was my turn.

"You-Know-Who," I said slowly slowly, "he's moving fast now. I mean, faster than before. He wants you dead."

"He's not the only one."

I ignored this and continued, "They're setting up this huge thing, him and his Death Eaters. Like, they're going to be following you everywhere. Literally. And You-Know-Who, he…he can fly. He wants to get you surrounded so that he can easily, I don't know, swoop down, and…well…"

"Kill me."

"Yeah."

Harry sighed, and rubbed his hands over his face, thinking. It seemed to take forever, but he finally spoke. "Well, that's good to know." He paused. "When am I coming back?"

He seemed so desperate to get out of there. Hermione looked heartbroken.

"Two weeks," she said, barely audible. Harry chuckled humorlessly. "I wish you could come with us now," Hermione continued, a bit louder, "but Dumbledore said you need to be here longer this summer, because of the protection or something."

"Yeah, mate," I said, "We all want you back. It's pretty boring without you."

Hermione formed her next words carefully. "Harry…I didn't know it was this bad here,"

Harry looked surprised and upset at the turn of conversation. "It's not that bad. I mean, this is a huge improvement." He meant it to calm us, but it had the opposite effect.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked. He was so emaciated.

He shrugged. "Last week. I'm fine, though. It's Hedwig I'm worried about. I took some stuff for her from school, but it only lasted a few weeks."

It was like this all the time for him. He had even prepared for it before the summer holidays, by sneaking food from school. And he wasn't even concerned for himself.

"Why haven't you answered our letters?" I continued my questioning. He just nodded toward the window. I was sickened to see the bars we'd torn down back up. He needed to get out of here.

Hermione took over, repeating the questioned she'd asked me earlier. "Why is there a cat flap on the door?"

Harry looked embarrassed. I was going to tell him he didn't have to answer, but my curiosity stopped me. Harry rubbed the back of his neck, as he always did when he was uncomfortable. "For food."

I couldn't suppress my shocked "_What?_"

"Yeah...you know," he said. "For when they lock me in here for a really long time."

This was horrible. I couldn't believe I was ever jealous of him. I'd never trade my life for his! And he'd been doing this for fifteen years…and he said it used to be worse.

"Oh, God, Harry…" Hermione whispered.

"Look, can we not talk about this?" Harry said, austere. "Anyway, you really should leave. They can't know you're here. Oh…"

"Oh, what?" Hermione pressed.

"You can't get out."

**A/N: I was going to make this a one-shot, but something compelled me to end it here and continue. It'll be chaptered, but probably not very long. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading, and please review!**


	2. Busting Out

"Anyway, you really should leave

"_Anyway, you really should leave. They can't know you're here. Oh…"_

"_Oh, what?" Hermione pressed._

"_You can't get out."_

#

When the sound of the front door opening echoed into the undersized room, Harry could not have looked more distraught.

"Okay,' he said quietly, breathing hard. "Don't say anything. I'm serious, if you make a sound, they could hear you. No one ever comes in here, so we don't have to worry about hiding, but if you hear the door unlock, get under the cloak." He ran his fingers through his messy hair, and began pacing the room. "I probably won't be in here long," he said. "Then you can sneak out when I leave."

I situated myself on Harry's bed, tired from standing all day. It was so springy, and there was practically no support. I couldn't imagine having to sleep on it, night after night…

"Harry, what's all this junk in your room?" Hermione was eyeing the mess of toys, and other such useless items.

"Oh. It's not mine," Harry said awkwardly.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't blame her for asking; I knew Harry didn't have many belongings, but then what was all this doing in his room?

"It's Dudley's. This is his second bedroom, really. I got it when the Hogwarts letters started coming, and they freaked."

Harry was really uncomfortable with this conversation. That much was evident. I looked at Hermione, trying to silently tell her to drop it, but she didn't need my prodding.

#

It was 8:00 at night. I hadn't eaten since that morning, I hadn't been allowed speak more than a few whispered sentences, the dust in the room was making me lightheaded, and what was worse: I really had to use the loo.

Hermione looked as overwrought as I did, but Harry was fine. He was _used_ to this. That made me feel a little bad about my anguished outlook, but still, this was no way to treat a person. I needed to get out of that room!

"Holy shit, Harry," I said finally, unable to take it anymore. He glanced nervously from me to the door, clearly worried about my less-than-quiet tone. "Can't we just pick the lock and get out of here?"

He waited a moment before answering me, seemingly listening for something. "Not a bad idea," he said. "Can't yet though. We have to wait till they go to sleep."

"_Why?_" I said, exasperated. "I can't last that long! Seriously, mate, when do you pee?" That made him laugh, though he was looking even more tense.

"All right, be quiet, okay?" he whispered. "As soon as they're all sleeping, we can pick the lock, and you can go."

By the time we heard his uncle's snores and his aunt's taut breaths, I was sure I was going to starve to death. Harry couldn't have twisted the paper clip in the lock fast enough, but when it finally opened, I felt horrible to have to leave him there. We stood in the doorway for about a minute—Hermione wouldn't take her eyes off him. Eventually, she spoke in a soft, heartrending voice. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Why?" he said, but he didn't wait for an answer. "I'll see you guys soon. Could you relock the door before you go, though? I don't want them to know I opened it."

A tear slid down Hermione's face then, and she gave Harry a sorrowful hug before he closed the door. She lifted her hand to the bolt, paused a moment, and locked him in.

#

"Were you successful?"

"Yes we were successful, _sir._" I spat out before Hermione could speak. "And may I ask, who the hell do you think you are, leaving Harry in these disgusting conditions?"

"What conditions are you referring to, Mr. Weasley?"

"His relatives hate him! They treat him like shit! They starve him, and lock him in this repulsive room, and hit him— it's horrible! Doesn't this bother you?"

Hermione looked at me with wide eyes, and the annoying twinkle in the headmaster's flickered and burned out.

"Of course it bothers me," he said. He sounded sincere, but that was lost to me behind his implication that he knew about my friend's treatment. "But it's the only place I can ensure his protection."

"_Protection_? They _starve _him!"

"It's better that than at the hands of Lord Voldemort!"

It was the only time I'd seen him lose his serenity.

My mother scurried into the room looking flustered. "Is everything all right?" she asked, eyeing me skeptically.

"Yes, Molly," Dumbledore assured her. "Thank you for your hospitality, but I must be off."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"

"No, no, thank you…"

She followed him out the door, and I threw myself onto the couch. Hermione followed me. She put her head on my shoulder, and silently sobbed. I let her cry, not really knowing what else to do. At last, she said, "It seems so unfair."

"What does?"

"That Harry gets this messed up life, and we get loving families, and…" she trailed off, but I knew what she meant.

"I don't really want to know what he meant when he said this was an improvement."

She nodded and continued to cry. In my head, a voice wouldn't relent. A booming voice, telling him how everyone is better than he is, cursing at him, belittling him…no wonder Harry's the way he is.

**A/N: I am so, so, so sorry for the dull chapter. I promise the next one will be full of action. **_**Please**_** don't give up on this fic.**

**A HUGE thanks goes out to **_**darkshadowgirl666**_** (my first reviewer!), and **_**micahela**_** for reviewing. Your words mean the world to me. Thank you to everyone added this story to his/her favorites, and to those of you who added it to your alerts. Again, I am ****so**** sorry if this chapter disappointed you, and I promise the next will be more eventful. PLEASE review! They make me so happy!**

**I love you all! 333**


	3. Accompanied Solitude

I have never experienced a more slowly descending week. All I could think about was where Harry was, how he was being treated, how much he _needed_ us. I knew he needed us. And while it was nice to feel necessary, I didn't like the reason why.

Why hadn't I noticed how bad it was before? Even after I had personally removed the bars from his window, I was still jealous of him. One week had gone by since I'd seen him, and I still had to get through another before I could see him again. I'd always missed him when he wasn't around, but I'd never been so _worried_ about him. He lived like this every summer. He'd come back, skinnier, paler, and Mom would feed him, and everything was better. I had no idea. I knew all these things, but I'd never really thought about it…

I spent the next week trying to distract myself from my thoughts. I knew I wouldn't be able to live seven more days without entertaining myself in some way. My plan worked, too, and on the Saturday of Harry's return, I was in a fairly decent mood. He was going to show up at the door, the way he always did, and everything would be normal. This disturbing information I didn't need to know—I really wasn't _supposed_ to know—wouldn't change anything…

And so it went, perfectly following my schedule. Harry stood in the doorway beside Dumbledore. He had gotten here fine. Good.

Bad.

No, good, that he got there alive, but…bad. He looked exactly as he had every other time he'd arrived after summer, but I'd never really taken his appearance for what it was. He was skeletal, with bags under his penetrating eyes, and a bruise creeping up his neck. How had this never seemed odd to me before?

Even worse than that, though, was that I couldn't even greet him normally. It was like everything was different. I tried to act like nothing had changed, like he didn't just come from a summer of being treated like crap by his family, but I knew I wasn't successful. Hermione had grabbed him in a hug before even my mom could, and Harry mouthed to me over her shoulder, "You okay?"

_Am __I__ okay? _I nodded, trying to look reassuring, but it all was so different. I knew it shouldn't have changed anything, but it did. It changed everything. And he was worried about _me._

Mom ushered him into the kitchen and filled his plate with food, stuffing him up, following my plan. Only instead of making the situation better, I felt worse. As I watched him slowly eat, I knew why my mom took it upon herself to give him more food than he could eat. I heard Hermione talking, but I was only partially listening. I was watching him, wondering when he'd last eaten.

Mom pestered him to finish the plate when he said he was full, and eventually he got himself away without finishing. I almost didn't let him; I almost made him sit down and shut up, and eat because he looked like he hadn't in so long. But I didn't. Instead, I walked up to my room with him so that he could get his stuff out of the way.

"So Voldemort hasn't swooped down on me yet," he said, and I had to laugh at his ability to downplay serious situations. Hermione, however, wasn't as easily amused.

"It's not funny," she said. "Dumbledore's been working on protective wards for this house for about a week now, and apparently the fact that you were at your aunt's house longer is beneficial. The Order's not kidding around—"

"Hermione," he said, coolly, "I _know_ they're not. We watched Sirius die a few months ago, remember? I really don't need this sermon."

Hermione had the decency to look embarrassed. "Sorry," she said meekly. "You're right. Harry, how are you?"

He shrugged and didn't answer immediately. "All right," he said. "What about you guys? Anything devastating happen that Dumbledore decided to hide from me?"

"Not really," I said, shrugging.

"Dumbledore doesn't want to keep you in the dark, Harry," Hermione said." It's not like a secret plan of his or something. There was just no way to transfer information to you, while being ensured it would reach its destination. And no, we're all okay. It's you we've been worried about."

"What?"

"Well, you're the one he's after! And you've been stuck at your relatives' for the majority of the summer, and now you have to come back here and fear for your life!"

Harry's voice was a mere whisper. "I'm not afraid for my life, Hermione. I've never been. I'm afraid for yours, and for everyone else's. I just need to live right now so that I can defeat Voldemort, and then I don't care what happens to me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't care." his voice was louder now. "I don't care if I die with him, or after him, or whenever—it doesn't make a difference to me. I just need to do my job."

"I don't understand why this is _your _job!"

Harry breathed hard and ran his hand through his hair. He took a moment to compose himself before speaking. "Remember the prophecy?"

"Yeah…" she looked as surprised as I felt at the turn of conversation.

"It wasn't completely destroyed. Well, it was, but Dumbledore has always had a copy of it. And I heard it." He paused. Neither of us spoke. "Basically, I have to kill him because I'm the only one who can. He 'marked me as his equal' or something the day he killed my parents. That's the thing—he wasn't there to kill my parents. He was there for me, because he'd heard part of this prophecy, and it said I had a power he knows not. So he decided to kill me; get me out of the way before I'm a problem, you know? Only it didn't work. Obviously. So it's still up to me."

Have you ever experienced a silence so loud, you could think of nothing to do but let it ring? That puncturing it would be dire, like defacing a historical sculpture? That was what those next few seconds were like.

"Well, there's pressure for you." The silence shattered around us, melting with the breath of my voice. I didn't mean to say it, and Hermione looked exasperated, but Harry looked amused. I smiled at him, and suddenly he was the Harry I've always known. "Seriously, though, you know we're here for you, right?"

I was more surprised by that statement my preceding one. I quietly acknowledged my maturity. Hermione looked rather amazed as well, but she went along with it. "Yeah, Harry," she said softly, "you're not doing this alone. You won't have to do anything else alone."

The full meaning of her words didn't immediately hit me.

**A/N: I am completely and totally in love with the following people: **_**americanidolwinner08, dancergirl28, Severus'girl5690, moonfoot13, Potterworm, apothecary in training, **_**and **_**slytheringirlandproud**_**.** **Your reviews make my days so much better, and me not feel like a complete waste of the universe. Thank you all sooo much! I hope you liked this chapter. :**


	4. Forward Motion

A pained grunt disturbed my dreams. I sleepily allowed my eyes to observe reality, and was greeted by a second agonized murmur. I turned to face the bed next to mine, which was occupied by Harry, and found him twitching and rolling about the bed. As my mind agreed more to waking up, I tiredly walked over to him.

"Harry," I whispered. There was indication that he had heard me. I shook him a bit and repeated, a bit louder, "Harry." Nothing. "_Harry_!" He jerked awake, and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw me hovering over him.

"Ron? What's going on?" His voice was hoarse.

"Nothing, mate. You were having some sort of a nightmare." I paused, unsure of how to phrase my next question. "Right? I mean, it—it wasn't a vision, was it?"

He smiled, but it wasn't happy. It conveyed a mixture of sadness and frustration, that I couldn't help but interpret the answer. "I wouldn't exactly call it a _vision_." He paused, and I simply waited for him to continue. "Visions are…they're more about viewing what's to come. It's like I was there."

"What do you mean?" I said sharply. "You were there? Like last year? It's like those?"

"Yeah. Don't tell Hermione."

"What's he doing now?"

He stared up at the ceiling, concentrating hard. "He's angry," he said quietly. "He's angry, and…and Snape was there. It was a Death Eater meeting. He wants Snape to…to guide me to him, but not obviously. He has this whole plan…Snape's supposed to take me somewhere—somewhere innocent—but I'll be surrounded…and then Voldemort can kill me."

I couldn't speak. It was happening so fast… You-Know-Who really wanted him, though, and things weren't looking good. Something inside me screamed that it was all so unfair; Harry had to deal with a family who hated him, and the darkest wizard in history out for his life. It was too much for me to comprehend, and I couldn't imagine how Harry dealt with it all.

"What are you going to do?" I said, apprehension revealing itself in my voice.

"I don't know," he said. "I think…I think I might just let him find me."

"_What?_"

"I mean, I have to face him at some point, so maybe, if I can figure when this is going to happen…we can be prepared."

"What are you saying? Harry, you can't just—"

"I'm saying that if I know enough about it, we can get people prepared to fight the Death Eaters, while I confront Voldemort."

I could scarcely find enough breath to speak my next words. "No…you can't…you can't _do_ that."

"I think it's better this way."

"You need to talk to Dumbledore…"

"Yeah, that would probably be a good idea, except that he'll insist I get rid of these vision-like-things before I can find anything else out."

"Can we talk to Hermione about this?" She was the smart one, after all.

"Do we have to? She's just going to go crazy about my inability to occlude these dreams."

"Maybe, but I think she'll be a little more concerned about what you saw." When he didn't reply, I added, "I'll go get her, okay?" He answered with a tiny nod, and I swiftly left the room.

I returned with a slightly frantic Hermione, who demanded Harry recount every little detail of what he saw. She sat on the edge of his bed, listening attentively. He concluded his story by saying he thought he should let it happen, which drew tears, accompanied by a squeal, from Hermione.

"Harry, no!" She said quickly, rushing to get her thoughts out. "No, no, no, no, _no!" _You can't do that. Talk to Dumbledore…no, don't…no, do. Yes, talk to Dumbledore, see what he says. Harry you can't just give yourself up like that!"

"I'm not giving myself up," he said as she drew breath. "I'm just allowing a rather bad situation to work to my benefit. I mean, if we know the details ahead of time, we can have a plan—"

"Talk to Dumbledore. I'm serious; even if you have something here…you need to talk to him. Soon. Tomorrow."

Although Dumbledore was heading an Order meeting at my home the following day, it proved to be extremely difficult to get him alone. The three of us were welcome in the meeting, which held little information we didn't already know. He mentioned that You-Know-Who was in the process of developing a plan, but very few details were known. As the meeting closed, Harry decided to be forward in getting the headmaster's attention.

"Sir," he said, "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?"

Dumbledore agreed, and the adults threw curious glances our way as they departed the room.

"What is it Harry?" he asked when we were alone. Hermione and I refused to leave.

"I just…I'm so sorry, I, um, I had a…vision…last night."

The headmaster's expression grew immediately concerned. "Were you Voldemort?" he asked. I looked quickly at Harry—he hadn't mentioned that part.

"I…yeah. Yeah, and Snape's supposed to lead me to him. I think, if I can find out more details, like when this is going to happen and where and…I think it could work to our advantage."

The blue eyes of his audience grew thoughtful as he considered this possibility. Hermione seemed to stiffen beside me, and I forced myself not to remove my gaze from his, thereby not missing any sign of his contemplation.

"Well," he said after a moment, "I believe that is an idea. However, we cannot allow Voldemort to discover that the connection between you is alive. That would put us at risk of being tricked into a situation we won't find to be to our liking. Still, if we could find a way to ensure we are safe in that regard…it's better to be forewarned and prepared. It will come down to this eventually."

"That's what I said," Harry agreed. A horrible feeling crept into my chest, and I couldn't identify it. All I knew was that it wasn't welcome there, and I subconsciously ran my hands across my torso. This couldn't be happening. Why did Harry have to deal with all this? Why was it all up to him? He's been beaten down his whole life, only to have to bring the rest of the world back up. Who was there for _him_? Who was going to save _him_?

I wasn't surprised when I didn't sleep well that night. My dreams were haunted by ideas of what could happen to my best friend, and to my family. It had never been this real before. I was woken by something, but I was unsure of what it was. A breeze blew by me, and I turned to see Harry talking through my cracked open window to Draco Malfoy.

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. I'm aiming to get a chapter out a week, as it's very difficult for me update on weekdays. A special thanks goes out to **_**moonfoot13**_**, who has reviewed every chapter faithfully so far.**

**SMARTALIENQT: **I'm so happy you like it! I've been trying to write loner chapters, but I don't seem to be able to go beyond this length. I'll keep trying, though! I'm very into analyzing the personalities of characters, which is why I love Harry Potter so much. All of the characters are so in-depth, that it makes the whole series brilliant. I try to add all of the emotions in the characters in my fics, because I think that plays just as big of a role as the plot itself.

**IPreferVerticallyChallenged: **Yes, Harry does have a rather difficult life, doesn't he? His past seems to add a lot to how he deals with his present, so I wanted to incorporate the two together. I hope you liked this chapter!

**Ehlonna: **I'm glad you like my story so far! I've always been interested in how other characters view Harry, and I find Ron to be a great character to delve into the mind of. His and Hermione's views of Harry are very different from other people's, because they are the only ones who really see him as Harry. It's time for them to truly learn what their friend is all about. Thank you so much for your review!

**Warriors-person-thing: **Yay! I'm so happy I've intrigued you with this story. Please keep reading, and tell me what you think!

**H.P Obsessed Muggle: **Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you like it! Ron's interpretation of it all is something I've always wondered about, so I figured I'd write about it! Ron is often considered to be unintelligent, and a very a snappy friend, but this really isn't true. I want to bring out his character for what it really is.

**moonfoot13: **Thank you for all your reviews! They mean so much to me. Please keep reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy it!

**darkshadowgirl666: **I always have to work hard to keep the plot moving, and not concentrate entirely on the emotions and opinions of the characters. I'm glad I'm succeeding in incorporating both!And I definitely understand questioning things like that, as I do very often myself. Thank you so much for your review, and your previous as well!

**Umbrae Calamitas: **I have to say that "huzzah" is a very cool word. Haha, I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry I self-plugged this, I just couldn't help it. It seemed to fit your inquiry way too well to pass up. I hope you continue to enjoy it, and thank you for your review!

**Ash Shadow: **I find the stories that have Harry broken because of his past a bit annoying, because he's just not like that. He wouldn't let it bring him down, he'd use it to become a better person, which is what we see him do in the books. However, a very large part of his personality is derived from his years with the Dursleys, and I figured it's about time his friends realized that. I'm glad you like it, and thank you so much for the review!

**Hey look! I responded to everyone! I'm most likely not going to be able to that for every chapter, but I will as often as I can. I love responding to you guys, because you're all so amazing. I really appreciate every word of feedback I've received. Thank you all so much for sticking with this fic. I love you all!**


	5. And I'll Reject You

I would have screamed, but I was too shocked to move. I couldn't hear what they were saying, so lost in my own exotic thoughts. When I'd decided to inform them of my conscious presence, I managed to choke out, "_Malfoy?_"

They turned around and stared at me. "Damn it, Weasley, could you be any louder?"

"Shut up!"

"Apparently."

"Ron, calm down," Harry put in. He turned back to the window, opening it for Malfoy to enter.

"Woah, hold on! Are you an idiot? Don't let him in!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "If you shut up and stop waking up the whole house, I'll explain to you why I'm here."

He entered the room, and closed the window behind him. He quietly observed his surroundings with a smirk on his face, and I could tell he was itching to make a comment on the small space and bright orange walls. I was surprised when he resisted.

"I was supposed to get the Dark Mark today," he said, his expression growing solemn. I immediately opened my mouth to demand he leave, but he spoke before I could. "Just give me minute, okay?" He sounded very un-malfoyish as he said it; his voice was almost pleading. I remained quiet, even if it was only because I was shocked into silence. "I didn't take it. I didn't even go to the meeting."

"Show me your arm," Harry ordered. Malfoy lifted his left sleeve to reveal bare, unblemished skin. Harry examined it before looking at me. "Can we get Hermione in here?"

I left the room to find her, without questioning as to why. Harry knew what he was doing, that was apparent. I returned, clasping Hermione's hand in mine, and we sat on the edge of my bed. She rested her tired head on my shoulder, but looked at Malfoy intently. I had filled her in on what he'd previously said.

"Can Dark Marks be concealed?" Harry asked her, and I was impressed by the question.

"Not easily," Hermione said, with a curious glance. "It's embedded in the skin, so that it's basically a part of it. If you wanted to hide it, you'd have to change your skin. I assume it's possible for a Metamorphagus, but otherwise, I don't think so."

Harry nodded and told Malfoy to finish his story.

"When I informed my parents of my decision, they were slightly horrified. I understand that of course—you can't just turn down the Dark Mark—but I didn't know what to do. After seeing what it was actually, how completely pathetic they all, the idea became significantly less appealing. I really, _really_ did not want to join the Death Eaters."

"Get to why you're here, Malfoy," I pressed.

"Patience, Weasley, I'm getting there. Anyway, my parents were less than happy with me. I mean, if you'd seen the disappointment on my father's face, you'd think I killed somebody. Actually, he probably would have been thrilled about that, so scratch that analogy. Okay, so, moving on…" I'd never heard Malfoy lose his eloquence before. It only made me more interested in his tale.

"They told me to run, and find some place safe to hide, because the Dark Lord would kill me. I went to Dumbledore, and he sent me your house, Potter. He said there's prestigious protection there, and it's the safest place to be until Hogwarts. You weren't there, though, so I spoke to your aunt and uncle. They were very nasty, by the way, rather offensive. Anyway, I ended up here, because I knew this is where you'd be. This place is pretty well-protected, too, so Dumbledore said it would suffice."

"Wait—you're _living_ here?"

"Not my idea of a great time, either, Weasley, but it's my only option."

"Do my parents know about this?"

"Not yet, but Dumbledore's supposed to speak with them in the morning."

"You know, Malfoy," Hermione spoke up, "I am seeing no reason to trust you."

"Well, what do you want me to tell you?" he said heatedly. "Ask Dumbledore! I swore on veritaserum, for Merlin's sake!"

"I don't understand why you would refuse the Dark Mark," Harry said. "Wasn't this your life-long dream, or something idiotic like that?"

"Yes, because I didn't know what it meant! I was raised by Death Eaters, who taught me to admire it as something glamorous and noble! And then I started to be allowed in the meetings, and it's not what I thought it was. It's disgusting! They all worship like some god, and it's because he kills. I know I should have realized it before, but they fact that they killed didn't really hit me until recently. It's like…it's like when you read about someone in Nova Scotia being brutally killed, but you don't really care; and then it happens to your neighbor, and you see it happen, and suddenly it's not something to be overlooked anymore. Suddenly, it's real, and I don't want to do that."

He stopped to take a breath, and we all stared at him in shock. That was very well reasoned, for a Malfoy.

"And this guy they're all so obsessed with," he continued once he'd composed himself, "he threatens them and hurts them all the time! His own followers! I watched my parents groveling at his damn feet, and it was anything but the noble scene I'd expected. If that happens to me…if I end up as some pathetic, groveling person who spends his time killing people…I'm not going to be able to stand it."

I refused to take part in it, but Harry and Hermione showed him to Percy's room, where he'd be spending the night.

OoOoOoO

Dumbledore did show up the next morning to explain the turn of events to my parents. He tried to hide it, but I could tell my dad was furious. His rivalry with Lucius Malfoy combined with stories we've all told him about Draco was enough to completely put him off. I didn't blame him, of course; I felt the same way. Mum tried to be hospitable, but it was easy to see she was having a hard time. I could completely sympathize with her. I'd say empathize, but I personally made no attempt to be civil.

Fred, George, and Ginny, being the only other Hogwarts students present, followed right along with the "We Hate Malfoy No Matter What He Says" tactic. Harry and Hermione, however, did try to be polite, though occasionally let certain unpleasant comments escape their highly guarded lips.

Order members congregated in the kitchen later that day, and we were not allowed in the meeting for the first time that summer. Mum explained to us in private that it was because Malfoy was not allowed in, and it would be rude (and dangerous) to leave him as the only one left outside, with the whole rest of the house to himself. This being the case, we had decided to lock Malfoy in Percy's room for two reasons: One, to entertain ourselves while we were stuck outside the kitchen, and two, because we didn't want to give him any opportunity to overhear. Unfortunately, Harry was against the idea, although he admitted he didn't thoroughly trust our intruder (Mum called him a guest, but he would never be so to me). He insisted that locking Malfoy up was a cruel thing to do.

The little bastard ended up sitting among us in the living room, as Harry and I played a rather heated game of chess. I would have won easily, but the twins and Ginny were determined that Harry win. Hermione was content to curl up on the couch, reading some book or other.

"Ha!" I declared as I stole his knight. "Take that, you cheaters!"

"George, you idiot, why did you tell him to do that? Never listen to him, Harry, he's rather stupid."

"You told me to do that, Fred."

"Oh yeah."

His knight stormed off, glaring angrily at Harry.

"Oooh, Harry, take his bishop! Look, right there!"

"Ginny, shut up!" I said, when I realized she was onto something. That only encouraged Harry to go through with her plan.

"I shall spite you, Ron Weasley!" Harry declared as he claimed my enraged bishop.

"You'll never defeat me!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes at us, and I sneered at him. Harry glared at me pointedly. I sighed, and stole another of his pieces.

"Harry, get your head in the game!" George coached. "You better make a good move, or he'll checkmate you!"

"Well what do you suggest I do?"

"Not die."

"Right. Glad I keep you around."

His next move turned out to be very beneficial for me, and I declared victory.

The Order piled out to the groans of Team Harry. We watched curiously as Snape made his way purposefully over to us. "I need a word, Potter," he said. "Come with me."

**A/N: This chapter was slightly different from my others, but I hope you all still like it. There will still be much character analysis in this, especially in Harry. Draco and others are yet to learn some things about certain characters, and it all plays a part in the story. **

**Mistress of Craziness: **Your review made me so happy! I'm glad I've kept your interest. I love to analyze the depths of the characters to try to understand them more and more, and I'm happy that comes through in my fic. As for romance, I'm currently undecided. If I include it, it will not be part of the main plot, because I already have that planned out. The next chapter _may_ contain some subtle romance, but I'm still not completely sure. Thank you so much for reviewing!

**darkshadowgirl666: **I'm glad you still like it! I _wish_ I were the real JKR. She's my idol, and I really, really want to have a chance to talk to her. I'd interrogate her about all her character choices and such, until she seriously questions my sanity…

**Elphaba's slytherin cat: **We'll just have to see about Snape, won't we? Haha, I'm glad you like it! Are you a Wicked fan, by the way? I love that show! It's right up there with RENT and Spring Awakening.

**SMARTALIENQT: **Is Snape evil? Maybe, maybe not. takes great delight in leaving this undecided I'm so happy you like it! Please continue to review!

**moonfoot13: **No problem, your reviews have been fantastic. Your dedication is something that's kept me wanting to get chapters out as soon as I can. I hope you continue to like my story!

**Slytheringirlandproud: **Yay! Thank you so much for your review, it made me really happy. And this is just the beginning of Ron's discoveries.

**Umbrae Calamitas: **I'm happy to hear my first person point of view hasn't put you off. I love Draco, too, which is why I forced him to appear in my fic. Thank you for your review, and I hope you continue to like it!

**H.P Obsessed Muggle: **Hmm it says you reviewed for chapter one, but I'll respond here anyway. Thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and you like the way I'm portraying the characters.

**Warriors-person-thing: **I'm so happy I've interested you so much! I've answered one of your questions at least, but the others will be revealed soon. Please keep reading and reviewing, because it makes me ecstatic.

**Thank you all again for reviewing, and please continue to do so. Your feedback means SO much. I've actually come to the conclusion that I am addicted to reviews. It's sad and unhealthy, I know, but I don't think I'll be able to quit any time soon. Perhaps I should begin a Review Addicts Anonymous. Until then, though, please feed my addiction.**


	6. I Never Saw

We all stopped and looked at our hated professor. The fact that Snape wanted to speak to Harry privately did not sit well with me, especially considering what Harry had seen Voldemort plan. He looked suspicious as well, and glanced cautiously at Dumbledore. The Headmaster looked quite at ease, so Harry emerged from his position on the floor. However, as he stood, Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him down, not taking her eyes off Snape.

The potions master rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "This is ridiculous, Albus," he said bitterly. "I fail to see the importance in this."

"Miss Granger, please let go of Harry," the Headmaster stated calmly, an unidentifiable smile on his face.

Hermione softened her grip, looking confused and apprehensive, and Harry walked with Snape into the kitchen. I did not wait long before I followed to listen at the door. I was not going to allow anything else to happen to Harry. Hermione at my side, we tried to appear nonchalant about it.

"Any foolish errors will not be tolerated, Potter," Snape's accusing voice just barely drifted through the walls. "In addition, we will re-commence Occlumency--"

"What? No!"

"You do not have a say in the matter, Potter, so I suggest you keep your large mouth shut. There will be absolutely no fooling around in the course of these lessons, and you will do exactly as I say." I wanted to punch him at these words. Harry hates feeling out of control… "You _must_ prevent these visions from penetrating your mind. It is essential that you do so."

"I beg to differ, _professor_," Harry rebuked irritably. "I need to know what he's doing."

"Listen to me, you insolent boy! If the Dark Lord discovers your presence, he will manipulate you into believing unrealities are occurring! As to learning of his plans, that will continue to be my job. _You_ will cease to argue."

"And why should I trust that this is, in fact, 'your job'? Why am I to believe that you are working for Dumbledore, and not Voldemort--?"

"I will not tolerate your arrogance, Potter! You will call him the Dark Lord!"

"No, I will call him _Voldemort_, seeing as it's his _name_!"

Hermione and I flew out of the way as Dumbledore entered the scene. Though I could not see him, his voice sounded composed.

"Is one short talk without an argument completely impossible?" he asked, and I could almost hear the twinkle in his eye. It annoyed me, because this didn't seem to me a moment for twinkling.

It is impossible to not argue with someone so immature and egotistic, Headmaster, and--"

"Immature and egotistic? I didn't even do anything!" Harry countered.

"All right, all right. Sit down, Harry."

There was a scuffling of furniture, and I could feel Harry's glare.

"Now," the headmaster began, trying to restore calm, "are we in agreement that Occlumency lessons must continue?"

"No," Harry said, and his tone made me laugh. Hermione elbowed me as a signal to shut up. "I don't see how anything good can come out if it! I want to know what he's doing!"

"Ah, yes, I understand that, but that will be Severus' duty." I could picture Snape sneering at Harry now, like a small child.

"Yeah, I don't like that plan," Harry said. I was once again amused by his tone. Hermione, on the other hand, looked mildly surprised. "I don't trust him, and I'm not allowing the lives of so many people to be into his hands!"

"I understand that you do not trust him, Harry, but do you trust me?"

"Yes, but I don't trust your judgment."

I joined in Hermione's heavy shock. Silence filled the room. Harry has never trusted easily, and only then did I suspect it had something to with the conditions in which he was raised. If I had grown up with a family like his…I don't think I'd be so eager to trust, either.

At last, Snape's condescending voice broke through. "Well, then, if he wants to get everyone killed, so be it."

"See!" Harry exclaimed. "He doesn't care about anyone! He's _not_ on our side!"

Dumbledore sighed, and I imagined him gripping the bridge of his nose in exasperation and defeat. "Severus," he said slowly, "I think it's time we showed him."

I had no idea what that meant, but I didn't like the way it sounded.

More arguing.

More stupid, pointless arguing, now between Dumbledore and Snape.

And then, eventually, an agreement.

And then quiet.

I could hear nothing, and I pressed my ear harder against the barrier between us. Nothing. What was going on in there?

It could not have happened soon enough, but Harry finally came back through the door, the others behind him. I again jumped out of the way, and tried to look innocent.

He, on the other hand, looked dazed. We dragged him over to the couch, and asked what had happened.

"He…" he said, trying to put his thoughts together. "He's on our side. He knew my mum—liked her. They were _friends_…"

I glanced at Hermione. She, too, could tell that there was something else on his mind.

When he was silent for too long, I encouraged him. "What did they show you?"

Harry smiled slightly. "You know, it's rude to eavesdrop."

"Yeah, whatever," I said. "What did you expect us to do? We weren't going to leave you alone with Snape!"

"Thanks guys," he said, and he seemed genuinely thankful. He was thankful simply because someone cared enough to make sure he was all right, even if it was done through eavesdropping. I couldn't believe I'd never really noticed how truly lost my best friend had always been.

"So what did they show you?" I prodded. Hermione was still quiet.

"Memories…Snape's memories."

"_What?"_

"All these memories about why he switched sides. I'm not allowed to go into detail, they made me swear I wouldn't, but he really is on our side…" he still sounded out of it.

Hermione glanced over her shoulder, and I followed her gaze. Malfoy was watching us from across the room. This annoyed me, but I wasn't gong to make a scene right then. Besides, he was out of earshot. She turned back to Harry, and I again followed suit. At last, she spoke.

"Something else is bothering you, isn't it, Harry?"

For the first time since he exited the kitchen, he looked up from his knees. My friends' eyes locked. At that moment, Harry's soul was an open book, though the letters were somewhat difficult to interpret. They were stained, as if a cup off coffee had spilt onto the page, but what sort of liquid would be foul enough to stain such a pure item?

The words fell from his lips carefully, and without ease. "My aunt didn't always hate magic." That thought had barricaded any others about Snape, Voldemort, and the war.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! By the way, the memories Harry saw are identical to the ones he witnessed in DH. I hope this chapter was okay…**

**Elphaba's slytherin cat: **I believe your question has been answered. Haha, I guess Spring Awakening could have that effect on people…I happen to love it, though. And RENT. I really, really want to play Mimi in that show. Who did you see in Wicked? And thank you so much for your review!

**SMARTALIENQT: **Thank you so much! All of your reviews have been wonderful, and I'm soooo happy you like it. Please continue to review!

**darkshadowgirl666: **Thank you! I see what you mean about it being predictable, and I'm trying to work on that. And yes, I am probably no the only writer out there with such an addiction .

**Onia Black: **NOOOOOOO I hate it when people I know read my stuff! Grrr… Anyway, I definitely see what you mean, and I actually put a lot of thought into that line. It wasn't just like something I wrote. Still, though, if you didn't know me, you wouldn't think that, right? Anyway, thanks for reviewing…I guess. Lol jkjk. I love you!!

**moonfoot13: **Thanks for the review! I've actually considered that, and it still _may_ happen. However, I'm leaning more towards having them all figure it out in a different way. Please keep reviewing!

**Zolarix Aster: **I've seen it done way too many times to really pay attention to that rule, but thanks for letting me know. I just find it much easier to reply this way. Anyway, I'm really glad you like the fic. Thank you for the review!

**H.P Obsessed Muggle: **Thank you so much! It makes me really happy that you like it. Please don't stop reviewing!

**Slytheringirlandproud: **Wow, thank you so much! That made me really happy . You'll see about Draco. Any changes in him will be very gradual. Thanks again!


	7. To Confide in Friends

I tried to wrap my mind around the idea of Harry returning to Occlumency lessons with Snape. They hadn't exactly worked out before, though I still wasn't sure what had ended them. Besides, Harry had more horrendous memories in his mind than anyone else his age, and I didn't think he'd appreciate Snape observing them. I hadn't really thought about it before, but if Snape had been teaching Harry this concept, it meant he must have viewed his memories—and very few people have memories like Harry's. I could only hope that all our obnoxious professor had seen were quidditch matches.

"What's wrong, Potter?" came the sarcastic, drawling voice of Draco Malfoy. "Someone tell you you're actually going to have to work this summer? It's a shock, isn't it? The concept of not being doted on."

Harry, used to ignoring him, didn't say anything. I, on the other hand, couldn't control myself quite as well.

"Shut up, Malfoy! You don't even know what you're talking about!" I said.

"Oh, you're Potter's spokesperson now, are you, Weasel? Nice to know Potter has people to stand up for him, since he obviously can't himself."

Harry, who had been trying to escape the scene, whipped around. "What happened to trying to be civil, Malfoy?" He demanded. "It's no one else's fault if you can't control your Death Eater instincts."

Something unreadable flickered through Malfoy's eyes, but his smirk was back in place before I could be sure I'd seen it.

"I'm bored, Potter, and I need to entertain myself in some way. But you're annoying me, so I'll leave you to your rudimentary forms of entertainment," and with a swift turn, he sauntered off.

Unable to stand Malfoy's presence any longer, we opted to take a walk in the surrounding area of the Burrow. Harry's wonder was slowly turning to anger, and he took to grabbing leaves off trees and ripping them up with his incensed hands.

"You okay, Harry?" I asked out of necessity. I already knew the answer, for Harry's reply to such questions was always the same.

"Yes," he all but growled. I shared a concerned glance with Hermione. It was impossible to get him to talk about himself, even just to say that he's not all right.

"You don't sound okay," Hermione ventured.

"I'm fine."

I didn't want to push him, but something was wrong. If Snape did something to him, I was going to murder the man. I could tell Hermione was thinking along the same lines, for she risked pursuing the subject.

"Did someone do something to you?" she said.

"No."

By that point, I couldn't stand his stubbornness any longer.

"Something's wrong, Harry, and we know it, so you might as well tell us." I knew I sounded impatient and accusing, but at least I hadn't slapped him for being so obstinate.

"And what makes you think something's wrong?" he said, matching my tone.

"The fact that you are taking your anger out on leaves, and you look like you're about to explode, and you just had a conversation with Snape!"

"Snape doesn't have anything to do with it!"

"So you admit you're upset?"

"I'm not upset!"

"Stop yelling at each other," Hermione intervened. "You're not accomplishing anything!"

"He's our best friend, Hermione, and he doesn't tell us ANYTHING," I persisted.

"I'm right here, so you can _not_ talk about me in third person," Harry argued.

"Just tell us what's wrong!"

"Maybe I have a reason for not telling you, ever think of that? Maybe I'm not telling you because there's no way in Hell you'll ever understand. Maybe because I'm sick of people pretending they care!"

That shut me up. I wasn't pretending, but how could I convince Harry of that? When I spoke again, it was much quieter and less fierce. "Just tell me, Harry. Please." I sounded almost desperate.

Harry's tone, however, did not change. "I told you already, okay?" he said. "I told you! My aunt didn't always hate magic!" That was what had made him so upset? My confusion and shock must have shown on my face, for he added, "See! You _don't_ understand, and you never will, because you _can't_! Neither of you can! With your perfect families who love you unconditionally—you have that, and I never will. And get that look of your face, Hermione. It's not something to pity me over, so shut up!"

I couldn't stop myself from voicing my thoughts. "What does your aunt not hating magic have to do with--?"

"Because this is just proof that I was right all those years before Hogwarts—that there's something wrong with me! When I learned about magic, and how against it she was, I thought she had an excuse! I understood her hating me for my magic, because it was something she could never have! But she didn't always hate it! So when did that change? What if she never _has_ hated it? Because maybe somewhere in my naïve, stupid mind, I thought that it wasn't me she hated! That she didn't really hate me, but my magic! Because I'm STUPID. BECAUSE IF SHE DOESN'T HATE MAGIC, SHE HATES _ME_!"

He stopped, trying to calm himself. As he got his emotions under control, he seemed to realize how much he'd said. Still shaking with fury, he said, "_Happy now?_" before storming back into the house. Hermione and I watched him go, lost for words.

At the time, I hadn't known we were being watched by the very person we had come outside to escape. I hadn't seen Malfoy's intruding gray eyes peering from the bushes directly behind us.

**A/N: Sorry for the angst in this chapter, but I figured the only realistic way to get Harry to voice his feelings is to have him blow up. I'm also sorry for the short chapter and the delay in posting. I have finals in school this week, so I've been unable to really focus on this. However, I'll get back on track when school is completely done.**

**Also, I'm considering changing perspective every once and a while. For example, maybe we'll have a chapter from Harry's point of view, or Draco's? Please let me know what you think of this idea. **

**Slytheringirlandproud: **Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter, too. I'm sort of worried because it's very different from my other chapters.

**SMARTALIENQT: **Haha I hope you liked this chapter! Don't worry, there will definitely be more of what you're looking for in upcoming chapters. I'm sorry about the delayed update, but I hope I'll be able to get back on schedule when finals are over.

**Severus-is-my-man5690:** Thank you so, so much for your review! I really appreciate it. About Snape, well, we'll see what happens during these upcoming Occlumency lessons. ;

**Reader622: **I hope you liked this chapter as well. It gave me a lot of trouble. I'm hoping I'll be able to get the next chapter out sooner than this one, but I can't guarantee anything. Thank you so much for the review!

**H.P Obsessed Muggle: **I know, I really like those stories, too. Thank you so much. I hope this chapter was okay. /

**moonfoot13: **Thank you so much for continuing to review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll try to get the next out sooner.

**Again, thank you all sooooo much for the reviews. They mean the world to me, and that's not an exaggeration. Please continue to brighten my days with your kind words and constructive criticism. **


	8. Getting Nowhere

"Weasley! _Weasley!"_

I heard Malfoy's voice from behind me, but I didn't bother to turn around. Harry had gone up to our room, and I would have followed if I didn't know that it would only induce a lot of anger and frustration.

"Shit—_Weasley_!"

Hermione and I turned. "What do you want, Malfoy?" I spat the words as angrily as I could.

"I want to know what the hell is going on with Potter, actually." I seemed hard for him to get the words out, but he managed to portray his usual amount of venom in the sentence. Still, he was looking like he regretted saying anything at all. "He's taking his anger out on everyone again, trying to get pity—why? Is there even a reason?"

"Why do you care?" I asked, half incredulous, half irritated.

"I care because he's supposed to be savior of the world, and he can't even get past his own personal problems!"

"_Excuse me_?" Hermione interrupted. "Harry's a person, not a some weapon or tool, and he happens to have had a really terrible life, but he despite it all, he still manages to save people…over and over again. Don't you dare _ever_ imply that Harry hasn't done anything for us!"

"You're all a bunch of defensive, pathetic Gryffindors, and we're all doomed if you're all we have to depend on!" Malfoy countered.

"Shut up!" I said. "You don't even—"

"Let it go, Ron," Hermione said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away.

"Let it go? You just yelled at him yourself, and now you want me to let it go?"

Despite my protests, Hermione pulled me away from Malfoy and toward the stairs. Looking over my shoulder, I saw him collapse onto the couch and bury his face in his hands, in a completely un-Malfoy manner.

oOoOoOo

Two quick knocks, and then, "Hey Harry, can we come in?" Hermione's voice traveled through the door separating us, and our friend gave his consent. Closing the door behind me, I noticed Harry busying himself, cleaning the entire room.

"What're you doing?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Since when does Harry clean?

"Cleaning. Sorry."

"What's there to be sorry for?" I said. "It's basically my shit that's making the mess."

"Yeah…that and, you know, I'm sorry I blew up at you guys before. Seriously. I was being an idiot."

"No, you weren't." I could tell by her voice just how desperately Hermione wanted Harry to understand that. "It was a perfectly reasonable reaction. You know, I often forget how badly you were…are…treated in their home."

"Hermione…" Harry interrupted.

"No, listen to me," she insisted. "You're so strong, and it's easy to forget that there are people who have tried to break you."

"Hermione—"

"Listen, Harry. It hasn't broken you, but it's affected you, and sometimes I forget that, too. I just want you to know that Ron and I, we're always here for you."

Harry was about to retort, but his mouth abruptly closed. He stared at Hermione, his green eyes glowing with emotion I couldn't read.

"I…thanks," he said finally. Recovering from whatever it was that had caused him to react this way, he said again, "Thanks. I really appreciate that and all, but it's really not necessary. I'm fine. I was just…I don't know…before. I know they hate me, and I honestly don't care. I hate them, too. I just…I mean, it's not like it was so bad. It wasn't anything I couldn't deal with."

"Harry—"

"I hate to break up this sentimental moment," came the sneering voice of Snape from the doorway, "but Potter has _Remedial Potions_ with me now."

"Oh, you mean Occlumency?" I knew Harry said it purely to annoy the professor.

"Once again, you demonstrate your complete inability to be subtle."

"Subtlety isn't needed, sir. They knew about it last year, and they know about it now."

"It's foolish to just throw your trust in anyone's direction."

"Good thing I'm not dong that, then, huh?"

"That is clearly a false statement."

"Why? Because I told my two friends who I've known for five years now? "

"That's enough," said Snape sharply. "Follow me, Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes and allowed Snape to lead the way. Without more encouragement than a quick glance between us, Hermione and I pursued them a few paces behind.

Pausing I front of Percy's old room, Snape turned back to Harry. "Get rid of your posse, and close the door behind you," he said before disappearing into the room.

"Sorry, Posse," Harry said, trying to make light of the situation. Then, his face became more serious. "Thanks, guys. Really. I'll see you later." And with that, he, too, was gone.

oOoOoOo

"Eighty-one bottles of butterbeer on the wall! Eighty-one bottles of butterbeer! Take one down, mess up your life, eighty bottles of butterbeer on the wall! Eighty bottles of butterbeer on the wall! Eighty bottles of—"

"I swear to God, Ron, if you don't shut up, I'm going to take your head and—"

"All right, all right! I'm just so bored, and so frustrated! What is going on in there?"

I was sitting against the wall with Hermione, next to the door of the room that happened to contain my best friend, and my least favorite teacher.

"Harry's learning Occlumency, and that's all we have to know right now. I'm sure he'll tell us more when he's done."

I groaned dramatically, and Hermione regarded me with exasperation. A loud _thud _resounded from the room behind us. "And what the hell _is_ that?" I yelled, having heard the sound over and over again within the last half hour.

"I don't know."

"Isn't this supposed to be done with the _mind_? Why does it sound so _violent_?"

"I'm sure Harry will explain later," she said again, though she looked unsure herself.

When Harry finally emerged from behind the door, he looked weary and angry. Hermione and I stood from our positions on the floor, and he smiled a little at the sight of us.

"Were you there the whole time?" At our nods, he added, "That's pretty cool of you."

Snape brushed past us, and I proceeded to ask the burning question, "What was going on in there?"

"I'll tell you about it in the morning," he said. "Right now, I just really want to sleep."

"Come on, Harry—"

Hermione slapped me on the arm. "That's fine," she said. "We'll talk to you tomorrow then. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yeah, of course," he assured her. With a weak smile, he left for our room.

As I watched him go, I couldn't help but think that he had no intention of talking to us in the morning.

**A/N: Yay for fifty reviews! Woot! I'm seriously considering writing the next chapter from Harry or Snape's point of view (most likely Harry's), but I don't want to do anything that will bother my amazing readers. Therefore, would you all please let me know if you're okay with this plan? Thank you! Also, I have uploaded a new one shot called "Creation," and am in a desperate need of reviews. I would really appreciate it if you'd read and review!**

**I would also really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, beyond words, appreciate it if you'd review some of my stuff on FictionPress, particularly "Before My Eyes." Here's the link (minus the spaces): htt p: / www. fictionpress. com/ beautyliesinlovexx**

**Please, please give me some reviews! I beg of you!**

**SMARTALIENQT: **Your reviews always make me smile. I hope you like this chapter as well! I'm glad you like how I've done Malfoy so far, as he does have a very distinct character that must be done no wrong.

**H.P Obsessed Muggle: **Thank you! I'm glad you're okay with a perspective change once and while. What do you think of a chapter from Harry's point of view? And thanks! My finals went okay. I got some pretty good grades, some crap grades…my lowest was an 80 in global, so it may exclude me from AP next year, but oh well. : Please continue to review!

**moonfoot13: **I'm so happy you still like it. What do you think of a change in perspective?

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**darkshadowgirl666: **Thank you so much! I'm so, so happy you liked the chapter; it gave me so many problems. I love to look into peoples' minds, too, haha. I guess that's why I concentrate so much on the character's reactions and emotions when I write. I hope you continue to like it!

**horselover2468642: **I tried to imply it in the fic, but they are in the summer going into their sixth year.

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**PutMoneyInThyPurse: **Not only was yours the fiftieth review, but it made me unable to stop grinning for the rest of the day. I'm so happy you like my characterizations. Also, thank you for the comment that it is well written; that's something I don't often hear. Most people say they like the story, they like the plot, etc…but I rarely get any feedback on my actual writing. I hope my story continues to meet your standards!


	9. Occlumency

A/N: This chapter is from Harry's point of view

**A/N: This chapter is from Harry's point of view.**

"Sorry, Posse," I said, trying to make light of the situation. "Thanks, guys. Really. I'll see you later." I closed the door, trapping myself in a room with Snape.

"All right, Potter, let's see if we have any more luck this year. And let me make this clear: if you so much as _think_ about invading my privacy again, I will disregard the Headmaster's wishes, and deal with you as I see fit." The statement was made with such venom, that I couldn't help but think up all the methods of torture Snape might use if I were to commit this crime… it didn't help to calm me at all. "Understood?"

I nodded.

"Good. Prepare yourself. Legilimense!"

Nice of him to say "Prepare yourself," and not give me time to prepare… I couldn't stop the onslaught of memories. They kept coming, one after the other, in no particular order.

_Ron accusing me of putting my name in the Goblet of Fire… Hearing the voice for the first time in detention with Lockhart… Ginny reminding me that she, too, has been possessed by Voldemort… The cat-flap being installed on my bedroom door…_

Part of me became wrapped up in the memories I had no desire to live again, but another part remembered that Snape was witnessing these as well, and suddenly, the desire to force him from my mind gained strength.

_Hagrid yelling at the Dursleys for keeping me in the dark all those years… Learning (as I wasn't supposed to) that Sirius was my godfather, and that he was a traitor… Sirius dueling Bellatrix…_

No. No. I knew what was coming… no…

"NO!"

I was on the floor, just like last year… fantastic.

"Up, Potter." He didn't sound condescending, like I thought he would. He was merely speaking, not berating… how odd. "Stop throwing me out. Rather, block me out."

"How?" I said a bit resentfully.

"What do you think I'm trying to teach you, you impatient boy? " Ah the insults; there's the Snape I know. "You need to use defense instead of offense. Stop attacking me, and start protecting yourself."

"I… oh." I was quiet for a moment, thinking. It reminded of how I handled my relatives: when they harassed me, I didn't fight back. No, that only made things worse. Instead, I found ways to lessen the pain, distract them, subtly manipulate the situations so that they were easier to deal with…

Snape's voice penetrated my thoughts. "Again. Prepare your—"

"Wait! Give me a minute."

He rolled his eyes, but paused nonetheless.

When was I safest when they were angry? I remembered how being put in the cupboard meant that I was going to be alone for a few days… no way to screw up. They didn't come after me when I was in the cupboard, they just let me be. When I knew I was in trouble, I'd try to get them to decide that the best method to handle me was to throw me in the cupboard, and let me starve, unable to escape. They thought it was torture, and in way, it was. But it was preferable to their other methods of punishment. I'd beg them not to put me in there, because I knew it would make them do the opposite. I learned early on that they enjoyed denying me anything I desperately wanted, and I used it to my benefit.

Yes, the cupboard was the safest place.

"All right," I said.

Snape raised his wand. "Legilimense."

The memories were mainly those of the Dursleys, which I assumed was triggered by my thoughts of them right before he'd entered my mind. I wasn't really paying attention to the scenes of my past replaying themselves before me, more concentrated on building the walls of my cupboard to protect them.

As the construction was completed, the memories stopped coming, held within the confines of my cupboard. Snape retreated.

"Well done, Potter."

I stared at him in shock. Did he just… _praise_ me? I would have said "Thank you," were it not for the fact that I had no way to be sure it was actually intended as a compliment. No, it must have been sarcastic.

Except, it was always very obvious when Snape was being sarcastic.

"We will continue here tomorrow. Same time. Practice." I stared at him a moment longer, too shocked to make any indication I'd heard him. "Dismissed."

At that, I shook myself from my thoughts, and left the room.

oOoOoOo

I woke the next morning to immediate interrogation by Ron. I really had no idea what to tell him. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, yeah, Snape saw all my private memories, so I built my cupboard to keep him out"? Which would lead to more questions as to what my cupboard even is… and that wouldn't be good.

I decided on telling them the basics. "It was actually helpful, though," I explained. "Like, he told me how to do it this time, instead of just attacking me over and over again."

"Oh good," Hermione said, relieved. "I was worried it would be like last year."

"Yeah, so was I," I agreed.

"What changed?" Came Ron's rather skeptic reply.

That was a good point… what _had_ changed? Why had he decided to help me this year, instead of using the time to antagonize me, like he had last year? What was different?

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

oOoOoOo

Occlumency lessons had become a part of my daily routine. Wake up, shower, breakfast, Order meeting, lunch, hang with Ron and Hermione, avoid Malfoy, dinner, have my mind assaulted by Snape, sleep, and the cycle would repeat. By the end of the week, I was able to construct my cupboard fairly quickly and with some ease. Snape taught me how to build it faster, protecting the memories before they could be seen.

"Don't think of anything but building these walls," he'd told me during one of our lessons. "The invader will see the first thing on your mind. You must think of _nothing_ but your barrier."

He never questioned the memories he saw, or showed any reaction to them at all. In fact, if I hadn't known otherwise, I wouldn't be sure he'd even seen them. He merely taught me how to prevent him seeing them again.

It was a Thursday night when he first saw nothing.

"Legilimense!"

My cupboard was standing before even the first memory revealed itself. Snape withdrew, and responded with a barely visible twitch of the lips, and terse "Good."

The next day, we began to work on strengthening the walls, so that they wouldn't collapse under the pressure of a skilled Legilimense. As August came to a close, and the start of a new school year drew nearer, Snape, yes _Snape_, declared me a decent Occlumens.

He was reporting to Voldemort, however, that he was gradually weakening me during our lessons. The plan was that when I was at my strongest, Voldemort would be informed that I was at my weakest. He'd strike then, and I'd be ready.

oOoOoOo

The Order meeting on August 28 was a turning point. No students but me were allowed in. Snape had announced that Voldemort was getting impatient, and that he was preparing to attack soon. The attendees of the meeting were silent as they let the weight of the information dawn on them.

It was Dumbledore who turned to me and said, "You know what has to happen, Harry."

It wasn't a question, but I answered anyway.

"Yes." My voice was a hoarse whisper.

"Are you ready?" He said.

"Yes."

oOoOoOo

That night, Snape started to teach me more than just Occlumency. I learned one or two important defensive spells within the next few days. My magic grew a bit stronger, though not very significantly so.

The atmosphere at the Burrow was tense, to say the least. What surprised me, though, was when I heard Malfoy's voice from behind me say, "All right, Potter?"

I turned, confused, sure I must have heard wrong. It was much like the time Snape first told me I'd done well: it should have been sarcastic, but it wasn't.

"Hey, Malfoy."

He hesitated a moment, unsure of how to continue. Finally, he said, "It's hard, isn't it?"

Seriously nonplussed, I said, "What?"

"Knowing the darkest, most powerful wizard of all time is going to try to kill you in a few days."

It was a statement that could have easily been said in the usual Malfoy way—jeering, taunting, but it wasn't. It didn't make me feel too good, however.

"Yeah." I said, and I realized that I'd never admitted that before, even to myself. I noted vaguely how ironic it was that Malfoy was the one to draw that from me.

Shaken, I left the room.

oOoOoOo

August 31 was spent packing for the beginning of a new term. I packed as well, though it was with cautious optimism. It was hard to be excited when I knew that Voldemort was planning my downfall as I filled my trunk.

At the close of my lesson with Snape that night, he warned me to keep my wand out, and to try not sleep; he had a feeling that Voldemort may be tired of waiting.

He was right.

I did not attend Hogwarts the next morning.

**A/N: First of all, I want to apologize for the long wait between this chapter and the previous one. After chapter eight was published, I went to camp for three weeks, and then I had to do my summer homework, and then school started, I got a job, and… yeah, I was really busy. Just know that this story **_**is not**_**, nor will it ever be, abandoned. Updates will be more spaced out than they were, however, since life is a lot more hectic for me lately. **

**Darkshadowgirl666: **That's a good point! And, no, you don't talk (or write) too much at all. Thank you for reviewing!

**Elphaba's slytherin cat: **I'm glad you liked it! I'm sorry for the wait… Thanks for reviewing, and I hope this chapter was okay.

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**So yeah… basically everyone who reviewed is amazing, and I love you all. Keep reading/reviewing!! **


	10. What it Takes

I knew they were there. I felt them arrive. My scar was burning like it had in the third task… the Death Eaters had surrounded, and Voldemort wasn't far. Glancing quickly at Ron's sleeping form, I swiftly left the room and headed out of the house. I knew the barriers Dumbledore had put on this house had been penetrated, and frankly, I wasn't surprised. The blood protection of Privet Drive did not extend to the Burrow, and any other sort of protection could be broken with time and effort. I was prepared for this, and made sure I was out of the house before the Death Eaters could get in. I was not about to put my friends in danger.

I exited through the front door, and found myself facing about five masked figures, evenly spaced. The others were not visible to me, for the circle they had formed wrapped around the house. I stood there, wand in my jeans, facing the Death Eater directly in front of me.

He was silent for a moment as he stared, before he gathered his thoughts and shouted, "He is here!"

The others quickly found me, and one, I couldn't tell whom, grabbed me from behind. I let him (or her) do so, hoping we would move further from the house. My wish was granted, as the Death Eater dragged me to an open area nearby. The others followed, and surrounded.

I could have broken free from the grip that held me then, but I didn't. I decided to wait until Voldemort arrived. He would request that I be left to fight an equal fight, so as to prove his power.

It was only a moment before he fell, a mass of menacing blackness, from the dark sky, and landed effortlessly before me. He smiled at me, his crude delight shining through his red eyes. As expected, he told my captive to release me.

"Hello Harry."

"Hello Tom."

His eyes narrowed, and his smile disappeared.

"I would expect more respect toward the man who is going to kill you." I said nothing in response, so he said mockingly, "You realize I am going to kill you?"

"It's quite possible, yes."

I felt my mind penetrated, but my cupboard was protecting my thoughts. As he attempted to break down the walls, I withdrew my wand.

"You think Occlumency is going to save you?" he said as he retreated.

"No."

I decided to keep him talking, as I examined my situation.

"What has taken you so long to get to me, Tom?"

I honestly didn't care about the answer. I was surrounded by Death Eaters. We were about a half a mile from the Burrow. The rational part of my brain, small as it was, knew that it would be impossible for me to save myself with so many Death Eaters around to ensure Voldemort's success.

It took me a moment to realize that Voldemort had stopped speaking. He was circling me, threateningly. I internally rolled my eyes, and began to circle him, too. We were facing each other, wands out, moving in a circle… it all seemed a bit ridiculous to me. To be honest, I was _bored._

I just wanted this whole thing over with. If I had it my way, I would have just put my wand away and told him to kill me. But I couldn't do that when so many people's lives depended on my victory.

I had spent so much time training, and I had always been really fervent about this job I had to do. But at that moment, walking in a circle, facing Voldemort, I couldn't find the motivation to fight.

"Avada Kedavra!"

I dodged it.

That's it. I just dodged it.

I knew it was coming, I could have responded with some defensive spell, but I didn't. I just dodged it.

"HARRY!"

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were charging toward us, wands out.

"No, kids stay back! STAY AT THE HOUSE!" Mrs. Weasley was screaming at her family, and all of a sudden my brain reeled into reality.

Voldemort chuckled. "Aha, what is this?" He turned and headed to meet them. To get them out of the way. To kill them.

That's when it all hit me. This passionate fury welled up inside me, and I dropped my wand—it was just in the way—and through my hands came this power I didn't know I had. Everyone but Voldemort and me was thrust back, and put behind an impenetrable shield.

Voldemort's second of surprise was all I needed.

"Expelliarmus!"

I caught his wand in my right hand, and aimed my left at my victim.

"Stupefy!"

I picked up my wand, and walked shakily toward the stunned snake-like body lying in the grass. I knew I didn't have much time; he would break through the spell quickly.

I heard the rest of the Weasleys, plus Hermione and Malfoy, come running toward this scene we'd created. The shield kept them all safely at a distance.

"Harry." I heard Hermione whisper.

My hand was shaking. I was breathing heavily. My eyes hadn't left my target, and my wand was pointed at his torso. I had to do it. I had to.

"Do it, Harry." It was Ron's voice.

"If not for yourself, do it for everyone else." Hermione this time. "For your parents. For Cedric. For Sirius."

At those words, I straightened and almost…almost…

"Come on, Harry." Ginny. Desperate.

"Come on, Harry." Malfoy. Whispered.

"Avada Kedavra." I could hardly hear my own voice. I knew it had worked, for the red light in his eyes had gone out.

Everyone was silent. I didn't move. I was still shaking. Still furious.

And then, horrified.

I removed the shields I'd created.

Without looking at anyone, I dropped my wand, and ran.

**A/N: First of all, I've updated my Author's Page to include a bunch of ways to contact me. Please check that out. I apologize for the short chapter! I also apologize for the extremely late update. But this hasn't been abandoned! It never will be abandoned!**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I'm not going to reply to everyone here, but starting with this chapter, I'll be replying to everyone the way I'm supposed to. =) **

**Also, thank you to everyone who added me to his/her favorites, and put me on Story/Author Alert. I really appreciate it!**

**Again, I'm so sorry for the short chapter. I was going to continue, but I felt that this chapter needed to end here. I'll try to put the next chapter up sooner than I did this one. **

**Anyway, please review! Reviews make me happy. :] **

**Love you all. **

**--Victoria**


	11. To Keep Living

"Wake up, Ron." Hermione was sitting on Harry's bed, which he hadn't occupied for three days.

"What?" I said, rubbing my eyes. She was quiet for a few seconds.

"How are you?"

I stared at her for a moment, rather horrified that she had woken me up to ask how I was. She was wearing her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, and her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. It was then that I noticed that she wasn't sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me, but at the head of the bed, with her legs crossed. She was looking down. How long had she been there?

"Okay. What time is it?"

"Five."

"_A.M._?"

"No, Ron, it's five P.M., and you managed to sleep through the entire day without anyone waking you up." The sarcastic reply was to be expected.

"Hermione," I said slowly, getting myself into a sitting position, "why the _Hell_ would you wake me up this early? Have you gone completely insane?"

She just shrugged and continued staring at the sheets beneath her. She didn't say anything for what seemed like a very long time, and I was becoming increasingly frustrated at being woken up.

"Do you think he's okay?" I was taken aback at her voice.

"What?"

"Harry. Do you think he's okay?"

"Harry can take care of himself."

She looked up at me then. "I know that," she said condescendingly. "But will he?"

"Will he what?"

"Honestly, Ron, why do I bother talking to you?" She seemed to have snapped out of her lethargic state.

"Give me a break, I'm tired. My body wasn't made to be up this early."

"Oh, you'll be fine." She paused for a moment, and then, "Do you think he planned to leave?"

That question startled me. I hadn't thought of that. " I dunno," I said. "He might have."

"Yeah, but I don't think he did."

I tried very hard not to roll my eyes. What is it with her ad asking questions she already has figured out? "Okay then," was all I said.

"Harry's a very spur-of-the-moment type of guy. I think he just decided to leave. Out of nowhere. What do you think?"

"Hermione, I have no idea. I can't think this early."

"You can't think later, either."

"Touché."

"Ron, just talk to me a minute, okay? Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know."

"I know you don't know! That's why I asked where you _think_ he is."

"Uh-huh."

"Do you think he's coming back?"

Was I supposed to answer that?

"Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think he's coming back?"

I didn't know what to say. Truthfully, I wasn't at all sure. I could see Harry wanting to just leave and start over, forget any of this ever happened. But I could also see him wanting to stay and help with post-war problems, and be involved. I had no idea if he was coming back or not.

I could have said all this, but instead I said, "I hope so."

"Me too." She looked so very sad at that moment that I couldn't help but feel guilty at my selfishness (even though no sane person would be able to hold a conversation at five o'clock in the morning).

"Why, what do you think?" I said.

"I hope so, too." But there was something in her eyes that said she really didn't think so, she just hoped so. And suddenly, I knew what she was thinking. I felt my eyes widen, and I looked at her in terror that she might be right.

She got up then, and said, "Go back to sleep. You'll have to wake up in a couple hours." I felt her kiss my forehead, and heard her leave the room. I didn't actually see any of this, because my eyes were still glued to the spot she was a second ago, on the bed.

Finally, I diverted my eyes, and lay back down. I had never felt less tired.

IiIiIiIiIiI

I didn't fall back to sleep till around 9:00 AM. When I woke up, around noon, it was to find a breakfast tray next to my bed. I couldn't bring myself to eat any of it (I silently noted how strange it was for me to reject food), so I carried the tray downstairs, not even bothering to change out of my pajamas.

As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, Hermione grabbed the tray out of my hands, and said, "Shhh." George pulled my forward, and handed me the string to an Extendable Ear. Hermione put the tray down on the coffee table, and hurried back over to us.

I leaned in to listen through my string.

"—No denying he's dead. The question is what to do with the body." My mind immediately went to Harry. Hermione must have noticed the horror in my eyes, because she nudged me and mouthed, "Voldemort."

"Burn it, I say. What else is there to do?"

"And what do we do with the ashes?"

"Who cares?"

"Hard to believe there are so many people celebrating." It was my mum speaking.

"Well the death of the Dark Lord is good news for most people."

"Of course, I just can't…"

"I know."

"I think we should focus more on locating Death Eaters." I recognized Dumbledore's voice this time.

"I think we should focus more on locating Harry." Mum this time.

"I'm sure Harry's safe, Molly," Dumbledore said reassuringly. How could he be so sure?

Fred's voice interrupted the reply. "Quick, someone's coming."

We reeled in the Extendable Ears, and tried to appear nonchalant.

I was partially relieved, partially annoyed to see Malfoy coming through the doorway.

"What do you want?" Ginny asked him.

"To see what's going on," he said.

"Well, it's your fault we're not in there right now," I retorted.

"How is that my fault?"

"Because they don't want to let you in, and so they feel like they can't let us in. In other words, they don't trust you."

"I haven't done anything untrustworthy yet." We all scoffed at these words. "Look, I just want to know what's going on." When no one answered him, he said, "My father is going to end up in prison, again, and so will my mother."

"As if they don't deserve it," I said.

"They're not… bad people."

We all stared at him, shocked at his ignorance.

"Any news on Potter?" He changed the subject.

"No." Hermione's voice was quiet. "They're deciding what to do with Voldemort's body."

"Feed him to the Acromantula," Malfoy suggested. Not a bad idea, in my opinion.

The kitchen door swung open at that point, and the Order filed out. Snape left briskly, followed by McGonagall. Dumbledore turned to us.

"I expect to see you all at school tomorrow," he said, before addressing my mother. "I must be getting back there. We'll recommence tomorrow," and he left.

"School?" I said, as the rest of the Order departed. "We're seriously going back _tomorrow_?"

"Tomorrow's as good as any day," Mum said, as though this were an acceptable explanation. How could they expect us to just fall back into our everyday lives, when our best friend was missing?

Mum touched the back of my head affectionately. "It'll be all right," she whispered, and I noticed a tear staining her cheek.

IiIiIiIiIiI

"Ron, come on, we have to get going."

"Ouch, George, that's my foot!"

"I'm Fred--"

"No you're not, idiot."

"We're running late."

"Why must we all be in the hall at the same time?"

"Ron, you're going to have to move at some point."

I was standing in the doorway to my bedroom, one leg was in the hall, the other in the room.

"What about Harry?" I said.

Hermione paused. "What do you mean?"

"His stuff. Should we take it?"

She looked at a loss for words. Fred, George, and Ginny, were noisily making their way downstairs.

"What's the problem?" Dad said, hurrying behind the others. I gestured toward Harry's packed trunk, and Hedwig perched next to it.

Dad was quiet for a second, before saying, "We should take it. If… When he comes back, he'll want his things." He descended the stairs, looking disgruntled. Hermione and I looked at each other. We hadn't missed the slip in his wording.

"Ron, Hermione, let's go!"

I grabbed Harry's trunk, Hermione took Hedwig, and we ran awkwardly down the stairs.

Everyone was gathered around what appeared to be an old spatula. We were to take a Portkey to school, since the Hogwarts Express was out of the question.

Mum hugged me tightly, and then hugged Hermione. "Have a good term," she said. "We'll keep you updated on what's going on."

I nodded, not quite able to find my voice. Everything was happening so quickly.

"Get ready," Dad warned.

Fred, George, Ginny, Malfoy, Hermione, and I each touched a part of the spatula, and, with a jolt in the naval, we were thrown from the scene.

**A/N: Finally, an update! I know; I'm a horrible person. I really do promise, though, that this will never be abandoned. I hope this chapter was okay.**

**I'm sorry I didn't get to reply to all of you. I'll make sure I reply to everyone this time. I honestly read every one of my reviews, and I appreciate everything you have to say. I'm so happy to have reached 100 reviews! I can't express enough how grateful I am for the support. Please keep it up. :]**

**PLEASE READ BELOW**

**Now, I have a couple of questions. I can't decide if I want to end this relatively soon, and keep the future a mystery, or to continue into a whole year at Hogwarts. I have a lot of ideas for things to happen while at Hogwarts, but I'm not sure continuing would be the best thing for the story. Plus, if I continue, I'd have to bring relationships in at some point. Would that bother anyone? Are there any relationships that would turn you off the fic if I were to incorporate them?**

**So, to sum it up, here are my questions:**

**Should I make this a really long fic, or end it soon?**

**Would it bother you if I start including relationships?**

**Are there any relationships you really don't want to see?**

**Are you happy with this chapter, and where this fic is going?**

**Do you think I should include Horcruxes? I hadn't planned on it, but if enough people think it would be best, I'll try to include them.**

**Thank you all ****SO MUCH**** for reading, and sticking with this fic. I love you all.**

**Love,**

**Victoria**


	12. Lost to Wandering

**A/N: Here's what you missed (****on **_**Glee**_**!) ****in the past few chapters, since I'm sure none of you actually remember. It's been so long! I'm very sorry for the wait. Anyway, Ron and Hermione went to visit Harry at the Dursley's in order to give him information about Voldemort. While there, they discovered secrets about Harry's home life that he had neglected to tell them. This offers insight that slightly changes the way they perceive him. Harry has a "vision" about Voldemort's plan to get Harry secluded, and then surround and kill him. Harry talks to Dumbledore about this, and they agree that Harry will resume Occlumency with Snape, and Snape will be in charge of getting as much information a possible from Voldemort. Harry becomes a skillful Occlumens, and uses this to his advantage when he faces Voldemort. When the Weasleys (and Malfoy, who has been staying at the Burrow) run out to help him, he is flooded with a power he didn't even know he had. He drops his wand as magic flows through his hands and creates a shield, keeping the onlookers out of danger's way. He kills the Dark Lord, then runs. Ron, Hermione and Ginny take a portkey and arrive at Hogwarts a few days late.**

Hagrid greeted us when we arrived, his eyes red and his beard soggy. "C-come in," he choked. We had just dropped our stuff off in the dorms, and Fred and George had gone to meet with Flitwick about something. They'd be heading back home later that night.

We sat awkwardly on Hagrid's giant couch, each of us wanting to say something helpful, but none of us knowing what.

"It's such a strange thing," Hagrid grunted, pouring us tea with shaky hands. "How this really great thing that happened is also so—" he cut off.

"I know," Hermione acknowledged.

"Have yeh at least heard from him?"

Hermione shook her head and accepted the giant mug of tea Hagrid offered. I took mine, and sipped anxiously. Ginny sat next to me. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet.

"What do you think, Hagrid?" Hermione asked, peering at him as though he could provide her answers I couldn't.

"'Bout Harry?"

"Yes."

Hagrid seemed to choke in a sob, then composed himself a bit and said, "Dunno, Hermione. But Harry's strong."

"I know he's strong," she said impatiently.

"But he's also smart. Don' forget that."

That seemed to be the right thing to say.

We trudged up to the Common Room, dreading having to attend dinner. We wouldn't go, but we hadn't eaten since that morning and we needed food. We presented the Fat Lady with the password McGonnagall provided us with, and crawled through the portrait hole. A few people were in the Common Room as we entered it, and they stared at us. They nodded at us respectfully when we passed them, and they were smiling. It took me a minute to remember that most people were celebrating the defeat of You-Know-Who.

Hermione and Ginny followed me up to my dorm, where Neville was ready to greet us.

"Hey, guys," he said as I moved to get a better look at what was sitting on my bed. "Oh yeah," Neville said, following my glance, "Fred and George left that for you guys. Said they thought you'd like to stay away from the Great Hall tonight."

They had been to the kitchens, and returned with a basket full of food. I silently thanked my brothers and dove into the feast, hardly remembering to pass some around.

"It's great, isn't it?" said Neville. We stared at him. "About Voldemort. It's really over, you know. It's over." There was truth to that, and there was plenty of reason to be cheerful, but I could hardly force a smile. "I know you're upset," Neville went on, "but I think he's okay." We didn't answer. "He's Harry. He's okay."

I just nodded and handed him a sandwich, which he accepted gratefully. We ate in silence.

Everyone in the school seemed to be fascinated with us. If they weren't staring at us, they were stopping to have a chat. They wanted to know details of what had happened; how it happened; which of the rumors were true; and where, they kept asking, where was Harry Potter?

Malfoy had been shooting us glances as well, but not his usual, sneering ones. He looked at us with the question in his eyes: any news? A subtle shake of our heads, and we kept walking.

Not much changed as the week progressed. I had taken to carrying Harry's wand around with me, as though hoping it would summon him back. Speaking of… "Accio Harry!"

Well, it was worth a try.

**Harry's perspective**

The beds were comfortable there. Soft. And the sheets smelled clean and new. I breathed in and rolled over. The sun was peeking in through the window, and I knew I had to get out soon. I had been sneaking into various hotels and inns and taking shelter in their rooms. I would have paid, but I didn't actually have any money with me, and the last thing I wanted to do was walk through Diagon Alley to Gringotts. I climbed out of bed, took a shower, and changed back into the only clothes I had with me. Fortunately for me, these places frequently had laundry rooms.

I left through the front door; I find the most discreet way to sneak around is to do it in plain sight. No one expects the guy casually strolling by the front desk to be staying there illegally.

My lack of wand turned out to be an issue. Wandless magic isn't easy. Whatever came over me that night when I used it must have been triggered by something powerful, because I hadn't been able to find it again. If I concentrated really hard for long enough, I could usually make something small happen just out of frustration, but nothing significant. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered anymore.

The great thing about this place I'd been wandering around was that no one knew me. The name "Harry Potter" meant nothing to these people. The _what_ who lived? The chosen _who_? Just words.

What amazed me the most was Hannah. I'd met her when I was hiding out in the library—one of the few places I could go without having to spend money. She sat next to me and commented on the book I was reading.

"It's really beautiful, you know," she said. "The whole story. I think we can all identify with Holden in one way or another, at least sometimes."

"Yeah," I said.

"I'm Hannah."

"Harry."

"Do you live around here?"

"No. You?"

"My family does. I'm here visiting them."

"Cool."

"So what brings you here?"

Normally I'd make something up or change the subject, but this was different. I wasn't Harry Potter. I didn't have to be anything. "I don't really have anywhere else to go."

She considered me for a moment. "Aren't you in school?"

"I should be," I said with a small laugh.

"Running away?"

I looked at her. There was something very safe about this girl. "Yes."

"Come with me." She took my hand and pulled me toward the exit; _The Catcher in the Rye_ fell onto the couch.

We ended up at a beach, and the sand was soft and the waves were loud, and Hannah and I sat there and were. Just were. It was the strangest thing, lying on the sand, propped up on my elbows, this girl I just met sitting next to me, not worrying. Just being.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she whispered. "So strong. Menacing, almost. But under it all, there's a whole other world."

She was right, and I told her so.

"Doesn't it make you feel small?" she asked.

It did. It was good.

Hannah and I didn't leave until well into the night. We rested in the sand and stared at the sky and the stars, and the world washed over us. When we finally left so that Hannah could head back to her family, we stood in front of her house for a long time.

"Would you like to come in?"

"I can't."

"Will you be around tomorrow?"

I hadn't stayed in the same place for more than a day yet. "I—yes."

"Meet me here at noon."

She smiled and kissed me on the cheek and was gone.

I didn't go back to the hotel. I couldn't. Instead, I walked. The streets had become bare as the sky got darker and a chill fell over the town. I was looking for something, and I wasn't sure what it was, but I'd been looking for it since I left the Burrow. But as I strolled down the sidewalk, I noticed that I wasn't looking as hard.

**Ron's perspective**

I tucked Harry's wand back into the drawer of my nightstand, and glanced at the bed next to me. It was still empty, but if I looked hard enough, I could see the outline of my friend's figure resting on the pillow, his hair falling over his scar.

**A/N: WOAH. An update! What is this magic?**

**Hey, guys! I missed you, and I missed this story. It's been over TWO YEARS. I can't even believe that. So, I refuse to once again say, "Sorry this took so long, but I haven't abandoned this story and it'll be updated again soon!" and then not update in twelve years. So to avoid this problem, I'VE FINISHED THE FIC. That is correct. This fic does have an ending, and it's been written. I can therefore guarantee that updates will be coming AT LEAST every two weeks. There isn't much left now. I just have to divide it into chapters and figure out which parts I should post when. Please review and let me know what you think! If there's anything you're dying to see happen, I can try to work it into the upcoming chapters before I post them. Any feedback at all is wonderful. =)**


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